In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin." Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?" He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said... "A pumpkin? Sh-t...is it midnight already?"

Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place:

First Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth Guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a nudge and say, 'Golf Course or Intercourse?' and she says, 'Wear your sweater.'"

just thought that i'd let everyone know that superleach is turning 20 today! D

A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says, "Hi there good lookin'. How's it going?" Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen up, buddy. I scr3w anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, d1rty, clean ... it doesn't matter to me, I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-a&& love it." Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding. I'm a lawyer, too. What firm are you with?

yes..... i decided that i am not goin to submit my crap poetry! i know i put a few up, but those will stay! i'm goin back to the old routine of fractals and photography..... i'm waiting to get a new camera..... hopefully for my birthday! i'm dying to have an SLR i'm sick of the point and shoot digitals! it's definately not the same!


but ya.... i guess i could say that i'm feelin a lil better..... not much tho... still longing for someone to be with..... my day will come tho... hopefully.... or maybe i'll just become a priest! lol

anyways..... if you guys are lookin for a way to make my day, feature me! i'd be more than happy!